Masochistic Gaming

Playing games that I am bad at is a strange experience. Normally I game for relaxation, for the gentle hit of endorphins that I get from minor successes in game. Needless to say I amn't getting many endorphins from gaming this week. Yet I feel that I should persevere a bit longer for my own good. I just wish I felt that I was getting a bit better.

I am currently playing:

Battlefield Bad Company 2 Multi-player which I am really bad at (Rank II private with a Kill to Death ratio of 0.41). I love multi-player shooters but I suck at all of them. I have this naive hope that if I just keep playing I will log in one day and discover that I have magically levelled up to all out killing machine.

I have analysed some of the reasons why I suck:
- Lack of knowledge of the maps and game tactics
- Playing with disorganised PUGs
- Inability to shoot straight
- A tendency to panic under fire
- An apparent inability to learn from my mistakes and improve.

Also playing: GRID. This is somewhat unusual because I never play racing games but when I saw this on sale on Steam I though I might as well try one out. Needless to say I am completely hopeless. On the easiest difficulty setting I struggle to get around the track without crashing and invariably come in last if I manage to finish at all. I have even dragged out an old Thrust master game pad which is something of an improvement over keyboard controls but I still suck.

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