Thursday, November 29, 2007

Melee Characters of the world unite. The time has come to end this injustice.

Syncaine's reply to my post about ranged characters has spurred me on to greater resolve. A campaign is needed to restore equity. Too long have hunters, mages, wizards and warlocks enjoyed the benefits of standing back from the action. The time has come to level the playing field!

Please do not think I am pushing this agenda merely out of sour grapes. Please do not think me so small minded. Ignore the fact that Throg once had to suffer a run though Donnvail in fellowship with three hunters and FAILED TO LAND A SINGLE BLOW. Do not assume that the humiliation of running like a deranged lunatic after every mob only to discover it dead under a hail of arrows BEFORE I EVEN REACHED IT has made me embittered.

No and again No! This is not about jealousy (although you could not begrudge me a little of that). This is about balance. This is about fairness. This is about ensuring that all player enjoy the same game experience. Ultimately this is about making the game better for all of us.

Two modest proposals I put forward:

Firstly we must rectify the scandalous discrepancy which allows ranged characters to rain down punishment from a safe distance while melee characters are forced to put themselves into harms way. The solution, it seems to me, is simple enough. Henceforth all ranged character will be able to carry no more than one arrow/ ball of ectoplasm/Lightning bolt/whatever. Once they have fired this at an enemy from their cowardly hiding place let them wade into danger to retrieve the projectile (If, that is, they have the testicles for it. I think not!).

Secondly we must do something to equalise the gaming experience. As Syncaine so eloquently puts it: "the melee character likely only sees a claw or belly on his screen, while the ranged characters get to enjoy the animation of the whole beast." Again the solution is simple. Hence forth ranged characters should be forced to enter a "sniper scope" mode which dramatically shrinks their field of view when in combat.




They too will come to know the ignominy of wearing a tee-shirt which boasts "I slew the Nazghul and all I got to see was his big toe".

Those are the objectives. The campaign begins now. Watch this space for announcements of marching on Ironforge, Bree, Lions Arch and so forth.

EDIT: Thank you Hawk for pointing out that healers also have a difficult time seeing what is going on, squinting at the world as they do through a fog of health bars. I think it would be sensible therefore to restrict the objective of our campaign to the nerfing of Ranged DPS classes only. After all we really don't want to piss off our healers do we?

4 comments:

Hawk said...

As a long time healer from WoW and also in LOTRO I would like to put another perspective on this. Although we are standing back and, in a sense are ranged, I can still go thorugh a full instance like Molten Core or Carn Dum and have no idea whats going on. All I see is peoples health/morale bars. Then later people says "Oh, you have done MC alot, how do you kill this boss?" answer is usually, "I have no idea"

mbp said...

Hello Hawk. Thank you for drawing my attention to a healers plight. Naturally I will exclude you from my campaign. Post will be modified accordingly.

Syncaine said...

Not to derail the campaign, but Hunters in WoW often are the only ones to die on a bad pull, so that almost evens the playing field.

Mages however are just outright overpowered in terms of enjoyment. Damn squishies.

mbp said...

Hunters are also the last to die during a total wipe. I think that more or less offsets the bad pull thing!