Friday, October 11, 2013

Goopple Announces Ambitious New Open Search Initiative

Goopple Press Release: 1 April 2018

Our recent takeover of FaceWitter combined with the strategic assets acquired from the liquidation of MSoft means that Goopple Group can now truthfully say that "We control the internet. All of it."

Goopple group is determined to leverage its strength in this space to deliver world beating, exciting new products and services to our many users worldwide. Today we are delighted to reveal our brand new Open Search Heuristic Information Template (OSHIT).

OSHIT is a direct embodiment of Goopple's firm commitment to openness and transparency on the Internet. From now on all of our users will have instant searchable access to Goopple's vast archive of stored data on everybody. Electronic interactions, posts, messages, web searches, webcam captures, browsing history, emails, voice calls, texts, financial transactions public and private records all go through our servers and for some time now we have been recording all of them.

This massive database of information, unparalleled in human history will for the first time be made fully accessible to everybody. Our Smart Search (tm) technology means that everybody will be able to get any information about you that they they want when they want it. Everybody will be able to search by  user, by organisation, by activity, by picture, by sound. Simply touching a name when it occurs in any form of electronic communication will now bring up a quick menu with interesting highlights and one click access to all the other information in our databases about this person.

Goopple firmly believes that OSHIT will herald a new era of openness and transparency but we realise that some users may prefer not to participate. Therefore we are pleased to announce a range of opt out packages available at reasonable cost.

Under 18's and full time students: No opt out is possible but Goopple is delighted to announce a new "Free Goopple Pad for Every Learner" scheme. Everyone under the age of 18 and all full time students will be able to claim a brand new free Goopple pad.

Unemployed: No Opt Out available

Employed and  Single: Opt out available for an annual fee equivalent to 10% of annual earnings (as calculated from our database of your financial transactions)

Employed and in a Relationship: Opt Out available for an annual fee equivalent to 20% of annual earnings (as calculated from our database of your financial transactions)

Company CEO's / Owners Managers: Opt out available for annual fee equivalent to 10% of your organisations annual Turnover. Joint owners will be liable in proportion to their stakes (as calculated from our database of financial transactions).

Public Officials and representatives / holders of elected and non elected offices: Fee opt out scheme available. See note below.

Note: Goopple recognises the value and importance of public service and we are delighted to offer free opt out to all public office holders both elected and non elected, who meet our qualifying conditions. If you are a public office holder you will shortly be contacted by a Goopple agent who will explain to you what you need to do to qualify for free opt out. In order to keep the process as straightforward for you as possible this agent will remain in regular contact with you and will continue to inform you of the actions you need to take in order to remain in compliance with the conditions of our free opt out programme.